For one reason or another, some romantic relationships fail to work. However, even if you do not feel passionate about your ex anymore, it does not mean you instantly want them out of your life forever. Staying friends with your ex after a breakup may seem like a counterproductive idea at first. You are ending a close relationship for a specific reason, so becoming friends afterward might not be your first thought. Yet you may want to keep your ex-partner in your life for a variety of reasons. Rebuilding that friendship will take patience and careful considerations from both you and your ex-partner. Find a way to work out your differences if you want your ex to continue to be an important part of your life. Remember that not all exes can remain friends, but you can always try. Although being friends with an ex can be tricky, in some cases it can work.
Measure your feelings to your ex. You must honestly examine your emotions and come to the conclusion that you no longer have any romantic feelings toward this person. If your relationship was never intense and you felt more like friends from the get go, becoming friends will feel natural.
Start small and slow. Rebuild a relationship from the traits you have in common, but on a different level. Go for coffee or lunch and keep the conversation light. Avoid talking about the breakup, as that is not the purpose of meeting up. Talk about neutral topics, such as work, family or friends or a television show you both enjoy watching.
Talk to your ex about potentially remaining friends after the breakup. It has to be a mutual decision and if the other person may rather not be friends, you must move on.
Set clear boundaries about what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior in the relationship. This means setting limits on phone calls, texting, showing up unannounced at your house or any type of interaction a boyfriend would have but a friend might not.
Keep your hands off of each other. One of the main roadblocks to friendship with an ex is refraining from any type of sexual activity. Casual sex with a friend can prove disastrous to the relationship, especially if one of the parties move on to someone new.
Let go of any jealousy. If you really want to be friends with an ex, you have to determine if you can stand by and watch him or her date someone else.
Try to keep things casual. You no longer need to speak with or see each other on a daily basis if you are no longer a couple. Start off by updating each other every few days about your life and how things are going. If you want to get together as friends, go somewhere non-threatening like out to coffee or for lunch. If things start to feel awkward, it may be best to pull the plug on the friendship.
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